Yeah, you heard me. I'll even write those evil words that will send me straight to football fan hell: I DON'T LIKE BRETT FAVRE.
No, I'm not retarded. (Thanks for asking.) I realize the man's an amazing football player, will forever be an NFL legend, and blahblahblah. But you know, for a bunch of "real men", you Favre fans sure do get awfully girly and sappy every time he retires, and that's annoying as hell.
"Oh, they took down his nameplate...waaaaaah!" Boo-f**kin-hoo. Can we please stop using up valuable ESPN airtime for your crying? (I mean, just play the D-Wade T-Mobile commercials, instead - he's funny AND nice to look at.)
But the Biotch hasn't come out of retirement (hypocritical, but whatever) just to talk about you Favre fans being a bunch of sissies. I'm back to celebrate his kinda, sorta official gone-ness by explaining to you just why my man Aaron Rodgers isn't some guy who has to try to fill his shoes. He's better.
8 (in honor of Aaron's college number) reasons why Brett can't compare to his replacement:
1. AR-uhn RAW-gers. Pronunciation is easily deduced from the written version of his name.
2. Cal = better than Southern Miss. In every way. It's just a fact. (Example below.)
3. 24th overall pick (vs. 33rd overall)
4. Favre: missing 30 ft. of intestine due to being a crappy driver; Rodgers: all intestines intact
5. In 2007, Rodgers completed 20 of 28 pass attempts (71.4%). That year, Favre only completed 66.5% of his attempts. In case you go to Southern Miss. and aren't taking Math for People from the South 118 until next year, that means that Rodgers is better.
6. Despite being 14 years younger, Rodgers is much more capable of growing facial hair (and not making fruity hand gestures):
7. Favre can beat a stupid pill addiction. Rodgers can beat stupid USC.
8.
11 comments:
As always loved the post...
LOL very funny, glad you're back out of retirement.
your so far out to fucking lunch i'm not even going to try to explain it.
uh, so then why would you even write anything? sheesh.
Oh, you!
Quite the minx with your comically incendiary post titles.
Yay for Favre hate! I hate all people who ride their blue collar, populist image to fame and general adoration.
I really hope this is ONLY comedy (even though it wasn't that funny) because if it isn't then you are actually pretty retarded despite what your post says.
Aaron Rodgers hasn't even started a single game in his life. And sure Brett Favre was addicted to pain killers or whatever, but at least he can play a game without breaking his leg or ankle.
I'm not for or against Brett Favre, but really, even as a Cal alumni, this post is just ridiculous.
nah, what's ridiculous is you taking it seriously. and thinking it's not funny. what's wrong witchu!?
oh, and it's alumnus. ;)
gotta love packer fans, eh?
i like brett favre...but i also like pissing off packers fans.
oh wait, you also pissed off the state of mississippi. sweet! you've got my vote!
HEHE loved this!!! comon people yeah so what Rodgers broke his Ankle Ass hole but at least he played a Game on it without complaining too bad for whimpy ass Favre who was a baby over his broken Thumb grow some balls and get over urself Brett is nothing but a washed up Interception Record beating man!
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