Oh, Canada...

I just learned aboot the post-NHL Finals riots in Vancouver, and I am amazed. Canada, you're supposed to be all nice and calm and stuff - what are you doing, eh?

You people just shouldn't even be ALLOWED to riot. Los Angeles? Yes. Detroit? Sure. Those places have some scary mofos. But you're VANCOUVER. You don't have guns and your policemen don't even have cars. Most of you are wearing what look like HIKING BACKPACKS, for crying out loud! Rioting is just entirely inappropriate.

Additionally, I hate to break it to you, but you're just plain stupid on several counts:

A) Holding up signs that say the other team sucks right after your team LOST to them just shows a complete lack of reasoning skills. You do realize that means that your team SUPERSUCKS, right? I'd hate to see any of you take the LSATs.

B) Way to punish the people of Boston by detroying your own city. You sure showed them.

C) A bunch of you re-res are posing for pictures as you do incredibly illegal shit. CLEARLY none of you have any criminal experience.

We all love our teams, so is it totally disheartening to see them lose in the finals? Um, JEAH. But if you had at least two brain cells to rub together in that little head of yours, you would know that it does absolutely no good to wage war on your own city. No amount of Molson or Labatt or whatever other crap you drink should convince you otherwise.

Oh, and also, quit being so sensitive. Russia is better at hockey anyways. You should probably just stick to curling.